Head Trash: The 5 Furies that are F-ing You Up

Fact: It’s been 20 days since my last blog post.

Fury #1: Fear

I am afraid that I am losing readers and that they are losing faith in me.

Fury #2: Self-blame

I blame myself for not sticking to my word of posting every week.  I should have more integrity.  I make myself wrong and therefore guilty for not having “enough” integrity.

Fury #3: Escape

I try to escape these thoughts by surfing the web, comparing myself to other bloggers in my field and on-line shop for shoes I know I won’t buy.

Fury #4:  Self-criticism and judgment

I notice that I can’t stop worrying about my readers and that I can’t escape the fact that I haven’t blogged in 20 days.   I judge myself as inadequate and not really serious about running a business.

Fury #5: Over-controlling

To look for some way around this fact, I vow to set up an editorial calendar, to write the next five posts ahead of time, to set up a schedule of writing where I make myself write even if I don’t feel like it. (Note the tyrannical and dictatorial tone here.)

Ok, now that I have admitted how the 5 Furies have f’ed me up in the last few days, let’s be clear:

The point of this post is to help you clear out the HEAD TRASH that keeps you from really moving forward in any area of your life.

The problem with head trash is that not only is it a massive obstacle to life and dream fulfillment, but in it’s most elementary sense, it’s just not freaking true.  Head trash is the mental chatterNonsense that keeps you from more effectively working with reality as it is, as well a distraction from the real work at hand:  your feelings.  Because I am obviously such a cheerleader for personal empowerment, this stuff is crucial to plugging the energy drain that comes with an over-active ego and an under-active practice of mindfulness.

So, let’s look at a more mindfully aware approach to the 5 Furies above so that you have a template to draw on the next time your head trash threatens to impede your path.

 Fury #1 Fear

I am afraid that I am losing readers and that they are losing faith in me.

Here, my feelings of fear are valid and legitimate (all emotions are, in case you were wondering). However, the story that I am losing readers and their faith in me confounds the facts and exacerbates the fear.  When I drop the story line and open myself up to the unadulterated experience of the now, here’s what I notice:

Sadness.  A constriction in my throat.  A desire to be of deep service.  Disappointment. A downward pressure, like a pushing in at the center of my chest.  A desire to run from all these experiences.

And yet, when I stay with my current emotions and tune into my body’s sensations and experiences, I begin to accept the fact without making it worse.  I can also address the other 4 Furies with loving kindness, self-compassion, patience and gentleness.

Below is a more mindful response:

Fact: It’s been 20 days since my last blog post.

Release from Furies #1 and #3

I am afraid that I am losing readers and that they are losing faith in me.  I try to escape these thoughts by surfing the web, comparing myself to other bloggers in my field and on-line shop for shoes I know I won’t buy.

• I let go of any story lines that may automatically show up and instead, pay attention to my breathing, sensations in my body and any emotions that arise.  I stay with these sometimes uncomfortable experiences until they pass because they eventually do.

 Release from Fury #2

I blame myself for not sticking to my word of posting every week.  I should have more integrity.  I make myself wrong and therefore guilty for not having “enough” integrity.

• My integrity allows me to maintain flexibility and honors of the natural ebb and flow of my life. And when I honor my body’s natural rhythms and follow the creative muse, I notice my chest feel lighter and I can breathe deeper.

Release from Fury #4

I notice that I can’t stop worrying about my readers and that I can’t escape the fact that I haven’t blogged in 20 days.   I judge myself as inadequate and not really serious about running a business.

• I am crystal clear that my life mission is to support others in claiming and owning their personal power.  I am always learning about how to be a more effective EmpowerMentor  and coach as well as how to run my business.  I trust myself fully. Fully trusting myself, I notice a pleasant pulsing, like electricity, in my arms and legs.

Release from Fury #5

To look for some way around this fact, I vow to set up an editorial calendar, to write the next five posts ahead of time, to set up a schedule of writing where I make myself write even if I don’t feel like it. (Note the tyrannical and dictatorial tone here.)

• I will do everything I can to increase my effectiveness at blogging without shaming myself or trying to force inspiration and creativity.  I know there is a learning curve to all great endeavors.  I trust that the pace at which I am learning is perfectly suited to the beat of my drum.  This makes me want to stretch my arms out wide and dance!

Notice the difference in emotional response when you read the 5 Furies response versus the Mindful Response to a known fact?

Honestly people,the most important key to getting through gnarly head trash is to stay with it emotionally and bodily.

It is not enough to think positive thoughts and use affirmations.  You must learn the language of your emotions through your body’s sensations in order to masterfully manifest a life you love and own your personal power.

So, now it’s your turn.  What is a simple fact in your life that your head trash is making worse?  Here’s the step by step to addressing the head trash more mindfully:

1. Name the fact.
2. Identify how each of the 5 Furies shows up.  Those 5 Furies are:  fear, self-blame, escape, self-criticism and judgment and over-controlling.
3. Be sure to identify your emotions and bodily sensations/experiences.  And, STAY WITH THEM!
4. Lastly, write out a more mindful response to the fact.  Release yourself from the 5 Furies.

Thank you for being here and working on yourself to not only build a more powerful you, but also to build stronger relationships, communities and planet.  The Universe needs your gifts!  I also need to credit author and therapist, David Richo  for the above exercise in mindfulness.

If you liked this post, like it  and share it with everyone you know, Tweet about here  and leave a comment.  I love hearing from you.

XOXO,

M.